Lessons Learned on My 53rd Birthday

“Love your friend moderately lest he becomes your enemy one day, and hate your enemy moderately lest he becomes your friend one day.”

By Ayman Okeil

Sunday, May 26, was my birthday. I celebrated it at Maat, the organization where I have dedicated my life, surrounded by my colleagues who expressed the love and appreciation they feel I deserve, though I sometimes feel they overestimate it. This is the first time I’ve written about my birthday, not because of the questions I received from colleagues and friends, but rather due to the many significant changes that occurred during my fifty-third year of life, the repercussions of which continue to unfold in my fifty-fourth year, should I be granted more life.

Some friends asked me what I wished for myself on this day, and I quickly and without hesitation replied, “Health, peace of mind, and continued work.” Another asked me what I wished for the world, and I told them in a sad tone that I hope for peace to prevail everywhere and for conflicts and wars to cease immediately. Others inquired about what life has given me in these recent years. Life has granted me many blessings, I replied, the foremost of which is contentment with my fate, nobility of debate, and wisdom to remain silent in times of confusion.

When asked what I have learned, I explained that I have learned nothing from politics except the persistence of enmities and that force is often used to create and protect rights. Life has taught me that a person is shaped by their experiences and that even the most esteemed individuals will continue to learn and grow. I have embraced the wisdom that advises, ” Love your friend moderately lest he becomes your enemy one day, and hate your enemy moderately lest he becomes your friend one day.” This means I try not to exaggerate feelings of love or hatred.

I learned from the study of human psychology that the worst trait a person can possess is arrogance, self-conceit, or taking pride in a favor they have done for someone. From my work in human rights, I’ve learned to follow my own approach of dialogue rather than confrontation, as gradual progress comes through thoughtful counsel and persuasion, not attacks and impulsiveness. I believe life has room for all colors and people, rejecting the binary thinking that limits life to only two extremes, black and white.

On professional level, I’ve learned that achievements are born from sincerity in work, innovative thinking, and a dedicated team that does not give up. I’ve realized the importance of action over mere words, and the truth in the saying, “If you don’t have a seat at the table, you’re on the menu” – meaning that if you’re not involved in the decision-making, you’ll be affected by the decisions made. This means that you will be gone with the wind, as Margaret Mitchell eloquently expressed in her famous novel. Through my travels, I have learned extensively about people and nations, and the experiences of others have greatly benefited me. In peaceful coexistence and dialogue lies the true humanity of people and countries.”

Regarding my hobbies, they are quite limited and focused on what I’ve devoted my life to: my work, the daily cup of coffee, sharing a hookah with lifelong friends, and visiting the gym when time and mental clarity allow.